Friday, 27 February 2009
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Sex and Pregnancy
Whoever told my boyfriend that pregnant women wanted sex even more should be shot.
I'll get right to the point of my blog today. How do you have sex during pregnancy? Where exactly does that urge come from?
I must be having a harder time than most. I would like nothing more than to go to bed at promptly 6:45 every night. My boyfriend doesn't get home from work until 8:30pm usually, and then has to eat and take a shower and wind down before he comes to bed. So by 10 he's ready for sex and I, well I would like nothing more than to spike his toothpaste with Nyquil. (I kid, I kid) It's only 8:00 on a Friday night and I am so tired from the week that my muscles are tingling with tiredness. As I write this, the dryer buzzer goes off and I must get through another 2 loads of laundry before bed..
Also, how does one feel sexy during pregnancy? I felt sexy up until about 15 weeks. Now at 24 weeks I feel like I whale. Everything on my body is changing and blimping up and I have cellulite for the first time ever. How on earth could he find me attractive? He tells me he thinks I am sexy, only when I mention it (rarely anymore), and only because he knows better than to tell a pregnant woman she is unattractive.
I keep thinking of something I read: in order to keep the romance alive, married couples should have sex 3-5 times a week. A week! Among my married friends, the number ranges from 2-5. Seriously? I'm not entirely sure we've had sex 5 times during my entire pregnancy. It's to the point where if I say something suggestive he laughs at me and tells me to stop teasing him. "But I'm not teasing you." "Yeah right. *turns on tv*" Obviously it's not always been like this, or I wouldn't be in my current pregnant state.
I am trying though, I am not giving up that easily. I rented a hotel room for tomorrow night to get away from everything. He doesn't know this yet. I am already dreading him expecting sex.
Any advice for a frustrated pregnant girl?
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Comments (3)
Sorry...no advice here. I definitely don't feel sexy during pregnancy. And guys will never ever ever understand. It's why Mother's Day is a bigger deal right? Hope everything is going well for you as you head into the 3rd trimester. You're almost there!
Since my sex drive, which was fueled by teenage hormones, only did a minor dip when I was pregnant I can't completely understand. You are also in a harder situation since he doesn't get home until late. With our first my husband worked nights but we also had afternoons together, where I wasn't about to pass out into exhaustion.
As for the sexy during pregnancy, I didn't always feel it but I also was amazed at what my body was doing. And my husband had a primal "I impregnated my woman" joy that subsequently made him find me sexy, carrying his seed and all. Haha! I think there are two categories of men, ones that love pregnant women and those who don't. Yours just seemed to fall into the former one.
Sex is an essential component of marriage/long term relationships, however I would not put a number on it just because of the vast differences in people's drives. Some couples could be completely content having sex once a week while others want to and usually do have sex every other day. Right now you are being assaulted by hormones, your body is changing dramatically and you have impending motherhood to think about, you aren't going to feel like having sex at 10pm at night or possibly even at 10am. Men just don't understand everything that pregnancy means to women.
Have fun on your hotel date!
So here's my update regarding this post: Last Thursday it was 75°. So of course Saturday it snowed 3 inches and the roads were too icy to go anywhere. I'm not even kidding. I was so mad and I had to tell him what was upsetting me so much, so now there will be no more romantic surprises.
I have been putting more effort into sex this week, although it's still not going too well (ie lots of pain). Of course it doesn't bother him, but it makes me feel very inadequate.